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| This is goodby. |
| 12.08.05 (2:40 am) [edit] |
Yup. Tis true. I'm kinda leaving tBlog forever. Yes, this site is kinda shitting me off. .... a lot.
:?
No, there isn't some big fancy 'goodby' note. No poems, pictures or cursing. I wont forget my lovely blogs. But Im leaveing with just my plain, simply and easy:
Goodby.
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| Maybe it's the end.. |
| 11.13.05 (1:17 am) [edit] |
I might just do what Kagome (Aka Juni) is going to do. Pack up and leave tBlog. I'll just..leave a pretty thing on my last post..remove my piccies and leave on sad depressed one and thank tBlog for being fun, while it lasted...
... hjlD1Cr6 ... what kinda crap is this?
Who the fuck needs a post key? it's a wait of time you pathetic fools.
But what would they know?
of course... they know everything!
..bullshit.
..post keys...
you all make me sick.
Gooday.
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| Short Post. |
| 11.10.05 (7:44 pm) [edit] |
I'm catching Kagome's 'Short posting'
Yep.
My post key says: zJgfYUel
zzl-gf-youel ...
-.-;
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| The Comment of the Year. |
| 11.02.05 (8:45 pm) [edit] |
*falls over giggling*
I swear, this is just pure genius! [insert sarcasm here]
¬.¬ Boy, this is one, sad way of advertising 'tBlog pro'. Definitely has some issues to be delt with, using tissues. Here's this random comment, plus my answer. XD
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» tBLOGTeam Monday 10.31.05 [3:43 am]
Ah, we put up the post keys just to annoy our users.
By the way, have you considered a pro account?
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» MutatedCarrot Thursday 11.03.05 [4:35 pm]
O.o;
Yeah.. thanks for stating the obvious..
¬.¬
And I have, then I rubbished the thought. Who in their right mind would pay for a blog space? . Not moi.
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...XD I'm guessing, this is one biiiiiiig assed joke. Some delinquent is trying to be the tBlog team...
..then again, if that *IS* the tBlog team.... Lord help us all. O_O
..stupid post key. < This place has gone to the pots. >
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| *dies* |
| 10.30.05 (3:43 pm) [edit] |
I swear.. I think all my friends are falling off the face of the earth....
...and all of a sudden, my super-cool internet tracking/stalking skills have kicked in..? Like, whats with that?
Suspicious thoughts. They. Are. Evil. *nod*
And besides that.. im bored shitless...
..the incradible story of Mary Bayner-something is on tonight. I whatched the first part last night.... and.. wow. O.O; Makes me wonder, that Australia, was practically infested with digusting, stuck-up, ferral English men who needed a root from any possible source.
*pukes*... I want... to get off this damned land! <; After watching the sceene where nearly every female prisoner was raped, it made me thing how digusting English people where *In those days*. Poor aboriginies.. we stole their land... took their lives... *cries* I feel..ruthless... but Im not Australian.. >; so..yay for me.
And no, I couldn't give a shit if my readers are From the Brittish/English country. ^_^ I was reffering to you in *thoes times*... nowerdays.. you don't go raping your female prisoners, now do you? ^__^ yeah, thats what I thought.
I'm also learning about this topic in Sose.. yay. So I already expected what was going to happen. First fleet... NSW ...three years... no food... harsh climate.. too much sex.. XD.. wow.. it's amzing how the managed..
but onto better things.
These Post Key's are fugging annoying..what? Does Tblog think they can improve their security?
HA! I laugh in their faces. Tblog should first, learn to stablize peoples' passwords and scream names, so people (Like me) don't loose their accounts because tblog has a spaz attack. And don't try telling me, I was 'typing it in wrong'. I asked for a different pass word.. and still, it wouldn't let me. in. IT's SAD.
:?
so..yaya for the update.. <.>;
aww..damn my diskman! <;>
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| My poor tblog. |
| 10.26.05 (5:59 pm) [edit] |
I've diserted this place like a child to a old toy. How nasty of me...
*wuggles her tblog* I luffff you...
So onto other news. My life isn't worth updating on here.. XD Because I just can't be bothered thinking that much.
But I am still on the hunt for someone.. and I have this sinking feeling he's busy with his life and he can't get onto the net. ..and I don't blame him.. o.0; or as my crazy freind sugested, he has himself a girlfriend.. .; thats not a bad thing either but thats kinda..hrash to hear.. ..
ok.. <; Yes, I wouldn't be pleased but what can I do.. lol. Nu, I know he hasn't run away from with his girlfriend.. like I stated before.. he's prolly busy. Yep. As for me.. T.T; I've been bored shitless. >.; Well not that bad but I have been quite dullish.
I did go on a band camp on monday and came back yesterday. Stupid hay fever... bloody alegies.. headaches sneezing itchy eyes itchy inside of the nose sore throat.. it kidna screw me up.. <; But I still had fun! Mwahahahahahahahahahah!>
So yes.. I might now update my xanga.. with my campy-ness and then start and FINISH my sience project.. <.>; ehehe..whoops.
hang on... whats with the post key..? ___<;>
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| NUUUUUUUUUUU! |
| 09.28.05 (12:12 am) [edit] |
NUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
*prods the warning thingy away*.. NU! Get off! .<; Your making my blog all big and retarded! Grr! :evil:>
Anywho. I had a story. And I WAS gonna write it down but I kinda cbf and forgot so this is goi-- wait. hang on..
=====EDIT======
..bah..I ahve to fix it up. ;;;
Laters strange people.
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| *random* |
| 09.19.05 (12:35 am) [edit] |
The Sensual Vampire
What type of vampire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yep you are plum crazy! Yay! That's awsome, i'm not
so stable myself deary!You are probabaly the
ones that everyone is either avoiding are
staring at...and when people overhear your
conversations they tend to run away!When they
show you the ink splotches and ask what you see
your answers all scare them...
Are you insane yet?
brought to you by Quizilla
Goth
your match
What does your dream boy look like? (with anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
*cackles* XD
you are most like vanilla. sweet and fresh but a
little spicy
what scent are you
brought to you by Quizilla
Low Clarinet. You ae your own person, you dont care
what others think but you'll be the first to
tell them whats on your mind. You dont take no
for an answer and are usually the most dynamic
and interesting person in the room.
What musical Instrument should you be playing?
brought to you by Quizilla
Mugen!
*swoon*
A stubbourn asshole, though he may not show it, he
does care. He's the type of person to get into
large arguments with and end up beating the
crap out of, trying to prove whos right and
whos not.
Mugen from the anime Samurai Champloo is you're
match.
What Anime Bad Boy Should You Be With?
brought to you by Quizilla
wtf!? ; I'll just take that again.
Satoshi!
*swoon*
Oh dear sweet, Satoshi, hes quiet and reserved, but
hes the type to turn to if you ever need help
with school work. The smartest guys are the
sexiest.
Satoshi from the anime DN Angel if you're match.
What Anime Bad Boy Should You Be With?
brought to you by Quizilla
..this doesn't make any sence.. *looks at all possible results*
*growls*...hey! There was better looking ones! .<: *swoons at some*>
You are a total flirt! you're always on the lookout
for hott guys! you dont have to look far
though, because many times they come to you!
well, GOOD 4 YOU! plz rate & message! =)
What type of anime GIRL are you? (cool pics) =]
brought to you by Quizilla
whooho! I knew that already XD
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| >>: randomness? I'm avoiding doing my english work. |
| 09.15.05 (12:21 am) [edit] |
The birds twittered at kristina's windows. She slowly stired, her body moving slowly, her feet sliding over to test what was behind her. With her groggyness, it took her a while to realize her bed was empty. She stop upright on her side, her hands planted first on her pillow. She looked aorund her, her messy, ark hair sticking up in random directions, flopped in her face. She moved again and felt her thighs tingle. The aftermarth of last night still graced her body. Kristina shuddered deliciously and stretched, her hands reaching far over her head. There was a loud yawn that escaped her lips and a large clank, ecchoing loudly from the bathroom. Looking sleepily over to her alarm clock, she would have nearly fallen out of bed if she wasn't sitting in the middle of the bed. 6:30 am!? What was this!? She slid out of bed and ignored the second noise of something falling from the barthroom and parted her curtains, peering outside. It was gloomy, cold and wet. Kritina sighed and decided to look for her jocks. Where had she left them last night? She scratched her head and peered around her room, that looked like a hurricane had passed through it. Bits of clothes, strewn in all different directions, her P.J top, hanging off her bedside table. Parfume bottles and makeup, thrown to the ground, her table draw clear yet slightly out of place from the wall. She blinked. Her table draw hadn't been that clean since she had movec in. And that was two years ago. She moved aorund her dark bedroom, looking for her undies. She started picking up clothing, and looking through them.. serching for her missing underpants. It wasn't untill she shook the covers that she found them. Slipping them on she surpressed another yawn and looked into the mirror. She was rosey cheeked today. Strange, she never usually was.
Rubbing her left cheek, she went to find something to wear where she heard footsepts comming down the hall way. Guessing it was Max who had awoke from his slumber she continued to search through her draws.
A gebtle voice floated from the door, she was startled somewhat.
"What are you doing..?"
"Looking for something to wear.."
"Whats the point, have yer' seen the time, it's 6:54... why don't you just go back to bed?"
"I'm already up.." She yawned and put back her head. "I'll be fine..I'm awake.."
Max raised and eyebrow. "I dun' think so. Come.." She took her by the waist and lead her over to the bed. She didn't notice it but he was compleatly nakid, ecept the towl that was wrapped around his body.
"No..really..Im fine," Kristina went to move out of the way when she backed her up against the edge of the bed and gave her a light push, sending her onto it with a bounce. She gleared up at him. "What'cha do that for!? I'm perfectly sle--fine! perfectly fine!"
kritina really didn't have much of a choice anyway. Max had delecatly crawled ontp of her, his lips lingering near hers. His hands, that she noticed where quite small after all and hisa rms that were very muscly where placed either side of her head.
"still tired?" He grinned. Krstina laughed and pushed off the bed with her feet, so she could slide away from him. Her shoulders hit her hands, that were sturdy on the bed. "I'll take that as a 'no' but since your awake.. I may do as I please.." and he plunged his fance into her neck. Kristina let out a shriek and started giggling profusley. She quirmed and bucked to get away from his live bites. She remebered them a long time ago and still to this day were only too powerful. it was his pure evil.
Amongst the kicking and giggling, krstina didn't realise she had hooked his towel and throw it off. Now, he was nekied, kneeling over her and biting her neck. When he decided he had tourtired her enough, he too, realized he was colder in some strange places.
Max looked down and raised his eyesbrows, as kristina bent her legs, in order to push him off. He placed a hand under her right knee and brang her leg out from under him. He was now nestled between her legs, just where he needed to be if he was to exicute his plan.
Kristina sulked and rubbed her neck, feeling the change of weight from her legs, to her pelvis.
They both looked into each others eyes, sussing out what the other was thinking. Kristina, knew what he wanted but Max, didn't know what she was thinking. More so he chose not to know what she was thinking. Her hands moved around his neck and she went to pull him down, he resisted and she came up toward him, her lips grazing his. he was playing mind games again. He wouldn't let her kiss him. Every time she went for him, he would move his head back, or around to the side and kiss her softly insted. And the strange thing was, she knew why he was doing it. Infact, she knew where this whole thing was going.
She also knew what she liked and always 'fire her up' before making love. She moned softly or whimpered as she went for his lips again. He let her kiss him breaifly before moving around and kissing her cheek. Her hand was tanlged in his hair and she tightened her grip on it. He winced slightly in responce but still continued to dodge around her kisses.
The two, where an odd couple in bed. And they both knew it. There always was someone dominent,(and that was Max) and there was always a small bit of ruffness. But he never dared lay a hand on her during such times, never would he and never did he hurt her in any way. He swore he would burn himself at the stake if he ever did so. He had at one time, given her permisson to kill him if he ever did anything obseen as that.
Kristina had nocked back to killing thing and insted told him she would only slap him enough to get his head taken off.
Max, seemed to knoaw what made her tick. Kristina realy needed to do a thing for him. He seemed to get enough pleasure doing the things he did to her, then her doing thing to him in return. He was strangly sexy in his own way. Althought he looked like he pushed her into everything, he never did. He was, of corse, persistant, he had the patients for that but he never made her do thing and never looked down upon her as a worthless woman. He let her do her own things, at all times. There was always a chance for her to 'do her best'. That was why she loved him so much. Both in bed and out. Made sence, no?
Anotherone of krstinas hands had slipped around his neck and she was forcing him down. Yes, he was much stronger than her but he wouldn't let her have what she wanted.
One thing kristina realized with him was that he always had reasons why he did things. He let her work, in some small, very mild way, for the things she wanted. And he had told her in, in a way, that io wouldn't be as challenging for the two of them if they just flopped around on each other and demanded what they wanted. Trust me, even kristina gave Max a hard time and many time he had become fustrated and looked to find what he wanted other ways.
To be truthful, Max didn't take 'sex' lightly. Pssht. Far from it. ((What the FUCK am I typing!?!? o.o;))
He saw it as a dance that only lovers could minipulate. Kristina was confused by the whole concept in the firts place but she usually played along with him and ended up finding out things she never even knew herself. Perhaps magazeins were exactly 'persice'.
By now, she had given up and layed hersekf back down. he followed her and still kept up his little game. However, oine thing he didn't see comming was the fact she was now tricking him into geting closer and when he was 'close' enough. WHAMMO! he would smooch him.
His breath travled along her jawline and to the corner of her mouth. She sighed gently and turned her head. It was the whole 'reverse sychology' thing. (and if they ever told people what they did, they would surely be called nutters.) if she didn't want it, he would presure her untill she did. And it worked everytime. Once again he went to peck to corner of her mouth when she suddenly raised both hand and cupped thema orund his hed. or she would ahve liked to but he had seen, halfway through what she was planning and cought one han. But it was all over, she had pulled him down and was giving him an almighty kiss.. deep and tender. Max found it funny, how devious she could be at times. Kristina, felt victorious.
it wasn't long before she felt his soft skin rubbing gently against hers. Their mouths naturally clashed and Kristina could hardly contain herself. She swore is she made anymore noise, she would wake the next door neighboughs. But she couldn't help it.
... what.. it's not like anyone could contain themselves when they have everything they desire, in the one person....
((cbf spelling.. ))
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| I had to write this down. |
| 09.12.05 (4:23 am) [edit] |
It's a story. It may seem perverted to you...but..*coughs and looks around*..it's my idea of having some..'fun'. hehe. Enjoy.
Kristina moaned, her hands gripping the bed sheets. Sweat rolled off her forehead, her face was pale and yet somewhat comfortable. Another moan escaped from her moist lips and she bucked, her legs going everywhere. Rain patted on the window, giving it a strange shimmer. Yet another, softer moan echoed off her bedroom walls and a crash of lighting followed, but an almighty boom. Kristina awoke with a jolt. She sat upright, one hand keeping her up, the other clenched at her skimpy P.J top. She breathed, her eyes darting about the dark bedroom. She felt like she was being watched, like something had invaded her and had managed to control her for a little while, before the thunder confused it and it retreated to one of the dark corner of her room. There was another small clap of thunder and the rain gently tapped on the window.
Kristina closed her eyes for a moment, her blue eyes, concealed from the room for a brief moment. Upon opening them again, she lay herself back down and let the cover sit at her hips. She was hot. Abnormally hot. Sure, it was in the middle of Summer and sure, there was a freak thunder storm... but.. she was hot. Really hot. She puffed out and brushed her dark, shoulder length hair, out of her damp face. What was the dream she was having before she woke up? She remembered intense... intense something.. intense pain? No,.. intense pleasure. Everywhere. It's riddled her body and would not let go. She couldn't remember any pictures.. just that feeling. Her stomach flipped.
Pleasure... was she seriously in need of sex or something? No, What bullshit. She was still a virgin, how would she know she wanted sex? She didn't even know what it felt like. Kristina opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Pleasure.. was she being tickled?.. no.. that’s different.. she was being massaged.. no. That wasn't it either.
Her mind kept averting her perverted things and she was starting to get the idea she had simply had a dirty dream.... then it hit her.
"Max!" Escaped her lips as she shot up-right again. "Max.. you dirty bastard! Come out 'ear you little shithead!" Kristina kicked back the covers and lunged for the door. God damn this demon. First she had managed to control her, to do as he wished, now, her was invading her dreams. He was obsessive of her.. in love. He wouldn't dare leave her alone. Never would he let another male be by her side. She was doomed. But she did noticed.. he never hindered from living her life. Funny that, she never had a good enough reason top put shit on him She looked up and down her hall way.
Goose pimples flooded her skin. She hated the dark and yet, she knew Max was hiding somewhere in their. What did he want with her now? He would only invade her dreams like that if he was either telling her something, or just stopping her from letting her mind wander to another male. But she didn't fancy anyone at this time... in fact, she felt more alone than she had been for a while. "Max... come here.. show yourself you little... poltergeist!" She stamped her foot and took a few steps outside into the hall way. A door creaked. Kristina froze in fright and heard a gentle, inviting click behind her. He had closed her bedroom door. Something breathed upon her naked shoulder. She let out a squeal and leapt to the other side of the hall wall, almost kissing it. She turned and to her complete horror... she Max shimmer and become solid in front of her. She wanted to scream and she would have if he hadn't cupped her gently around the mouth with one of his large hands. "Shhh little one.. you wouldn't want to wake the neigh boughs over something like a poltergeist now, would you?" he smiled down at her she backed up as far as she could on the wall. His face was a silhouette against the random flashes of lighting.
"Hush, little one.. you know I’m not here to harm you.." His voice, was lower than normal and much more... sticky.. dripping.. with something she could not quite explain. Slowly, her let his hand move from her mouth, a few fingers brushing against her lips.
Her lips instantly tingled and she tilted her head up and bit her bottom lip first before
raising a hand to scratched the top. "What is it you want now Max? Honestly.. this is not the way to go.. ransacking my dreams and creeping around my house at this late hour..." Max grinned, his teeth pearly white against the darkness and obvious to anyone’s eyes, the two slightly longer teeth, that resembled something of a vampires. But he wasn't a vampire. They were smaller and slightly less sharper and weren’t hollow.
"What are -you- staying up so late then?" She chuckled and rested a hand on her hip. her silk boxers, cool against his palm. "Since when were you my father!? I had one and he thinks Im old enough to go to bed when I see it fit..." She snorted and pushed his hand away from her, but the other came to caress her check. Max seemed amused. "We both know very well, that your father would prefer to see you in bed by 12.. but he chooses to let you live your-"
"Oh please! Don't pep talk me tonight! What is it you-"
"I'm not pep talking you Kristina. Never, would I need to do that." Max's smile had faded somewhat and there was a random flash of lighting. It struck his face, his eyes a little concerned. Kristina shuddered. Now she felt cold. No.. that was a lie. She only ever shivered when she knew Max was being serious. She always knew when he was being serious. She could feel it. Their bond, bother mental and physical, had stayed when Kristina chose to leave Max. But she never really leaved her. And time and time again, she tried to make herself believe that it was his fault. but it wasn't. She didn't know how to react around him... and his feelings for her were so strong.. perhaps too strong for her to grasp and look after. She was afraid of hurting him.
Kristina sighed and rested her head on the wall. "Then what is it you want from me? I haven’t a male friend in the world.. you can count on me being a girl with many girl friend and no male mates. I'm lucky I haven’t turned into a lesbian by now... what have you done to me.." She shook her head.
"Kristina, I wasn't me, who ran. I swear to you, I will not let you go that easily. You know already, what I seek.. it's just the matter of you realizing what -you- want..."
Kristina growled at him. "I want nothing! Leave me along you asshole! All I want is a good nights rest.. without being bombarded by your sick jokes!" She pushed on his and pushed him back. He let her, a soft grunt escaping his lips. "Kristina.. honestly, stop pretending like you don't know!" Even he was frustrated.
"I know exactly what I want Max! I want you.... I want you... to..-"
"Leave you be?" He looked down at her, his eyebrow raised. "Do you really want me to leave you alone? Do you -really- want to be -that- alone? How much do you want-"
Kristina thrashed out at him, her hands curled into tight fists. She stood no chance against him. He was well built and very skilled and quickly caught her arms. He never forced her back, but simply held her there, her arms pulling against him suddenly as she wanted to escape.
"Let...go of ME!" She huffed and wriggled one hand out of his firm grip. Then she went for his head. By this time, they had turned around, so now Max had his back to the wall. He swung her around, her arm missing his face just in time. Her grasped the insanely clawing hand and forced it against her stomach. She was now stuck against the wall. Her felt her flexing but it was not use. The position she was in was even harder get out of, than a lacquer band, tangled in hair. "Let go! Let go!.. I swear..!"
Kristina lashed out, attempting to knee him in the most tender of places. yeah, her was a demon but he still ha his soft spots. He raised a leg and hers was blocked. Then he pushed against it and curled his own around her and leaned upon her. Now there was no way she could move. Her leg was wedged tightly around Max's and her other foot was useless. Unless she wanted to fall on her ass, but even then, she couldn't kick him anywhere where were it would be effective. "Little one.. listen to me... I’m not here to take over your life! I've let you go for some long.. for what seems millennium.. I guided you as best as I could.. to keep you near me! I didn't want to see you go because of something you wished to cover up! I know you were scared.. scared of holding such power and responsibility.. but little one.. you failed to notice, if i didn't trust you, like I do, I would not have giving you the opportunity...do you not see this, little one?"
Odds were against her. She was slightly tangled up in him and was now facing the granddaddy of all her fears. It was staring her right in the face, grinning, howling. It was three-quarter time. She needed to find a way.. to.. really, damaged this brute... because she was starting to crumbled.
"Screw it.." She moaned and hung her head. "I don't know anymore.... I don't even know who I am... and you...why do I bother..?" she lifted her head up and looked into his eyes. he sighed and shifted his waist against her, she suddenly felt her stomach and chest feel heavy. His legs untangled from hers and she found she could stand again. A hand slowly removed itself from her right and the left arm, that was pinned to her stomach was loose once again. He still kept close to her. "I've been here the whole time.. so why did you give up. I dubbed you 'little one', because you were so small against me.. I was afraid i would squash you... not because you were little up here..." Her tapped her head gently. "I’m not calling you stupid.. but I am calling you foolish. You knew all along and yet you chose to run? Kristina.. that’s why I never gave up on you.. I was hoping you would realize sometime soon..."
Kristina hadn't moved her eyes from him. She did really like him. In fact she even liked th-- the dream. That’s why she had the dream. it was kind a premonition. She enjoyed having her body against his, and she loved the way her called her 'little one'. It ran chills down her spin. Chills no one could match and he know it. "I was afraid.. and you never guided me.." and felt week. She was digging up feelings. She never dug up her feelings. What was she doing? He was slowly cracking into her.. she felt helpless and saved all at once. "it wasn't my job to guide you feelings.. I guided you afterwards because I knew what you felt.. and I wasn't letting go of that."
She looked at him. His face.. was placid, serious and worried all at once.
"I didn't know how to love you.. I was afraid I would hurt you.."
"Why would you hurt me Kristina? How could you hurt me?" he lifted up her chin.
"I.. I don’t know.. I was afraid I might. I didn't want to. I knew how you felt for me. I was scared I might do something stupid.. and I did.."
"yes you did.. running way from that didn't help-"
"I know! You don't have to remind me!" She sighed. Max pulled on her chin and guided it near his face. "tell me something I want to hear.." His eyes were glinting. Kristina knew the answer and found it a hell lot easier to find the courage to say it.
"I love you."
He kissed her. it was like someone had poured water over her. Her body shuddered in response, one she was sure he felt. Perhaps they were right, her friends, it was like going to heaven and back, when the kiss mattered. All those other time.. were nothing. This was.. bliss... this was.. life it's self. Ah, crap. She was over reacting. There was a chuckle and a hand caressed the top of her head. He stopped and murmured through her lips. "Your not overacting..."
Kristina smiled meekly and continued the kiss.
..The rest I leave up to you.
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| This is just so uber smoochy! |
| 09.06.05 (5:06 am) [edit] |
What a Girlfriend should Know...
*~*When he puts his hands around your waist, lay your head back on his shoulder and put your arms on his.*~*
*~*When he whispers in your ear, giggle and he'll think he's funny.*~*
*~*Whenever he tries to kiss you, don't just let him, kiss him back.*~*
*~*When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold and he will automatically move closer to you. (If he's stupid then he'll either say 'me too' or he'll give you his jacket.)*~*
*~*If he kisses the tip of your nose, it means he wants to kiss.*~*
*~*During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt our head on his shoulder and he might lift your chin up and he will kiss you lightly.*~*
*~*When he tells you he loves you, look deep into his eyes, give him a peck on the lips, and tell him you love him too.*~*
*~*When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat and then he will whisper in your ear and link his hands with yours.*~*
Aww, I got it in a chain letter. Meh! I always breake chain letters. It's my hobbie. And it's also fin braking the rules too, by sending abck to the person, or not sending it to enough people. Most the time I reply with an annoyed paragraph. I don't believe in them. Total crap some wanker made up to scare people into thinking things might happen. Also a way to get money, and to get more contacts. -.-;
Anywho..I'm off to 'ave a shower.
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| Poem. |
| 09.01.05 (3:56 am) [edit] |
To far from me.
So far away,
My heart yearns to be loved,
Why am I cursed to never touch you,
Why do I toss at night.
So far away you are,
Your grace not enough every one in a while,
I'm alone inside,
Don't forget me.
You have turned on a light inside me,
You have given me feelings i thought were impossible,
Although I yearn for your touch,
I try to stand strong,
But I cant.
Im bored of the people around me,
You seem to be my new object of desire,
My new interest I cannot seem to view,
it's not fair.
So far awaym
I yearn to be with you,
Alas, I cannot,
So don't leave me,
Keep me guessing,
It keeps me living.
-Nessa
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| GODDAMN YOU! |
| 08.30.05 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
Fuck. I hate tblog now. Im honestly thinkign about deleting my blogs... if I can. I was trying to re-make Kagomes blog last night. then all of a sudden the advanced page would load all the way and I couldn't finish!! <;;;; I couldn't even click the previw/ok/ submit button.. GOD! It dose it with mine and my blog needs to ebc hanged! I can;'t even change the fucking background because it wont load far enough. I've had enough of this crap service.>
Free my asshole. <;; FUCK! I JUST ANNA SCREAM!!!>
FUUCCKKK YYYOOOUUUU TTBBBLLOGGG!!! GGGOOO TTTTOOOO FFUCCCKING HEEEELLLLLLLll!!!! AND NEVER COME BACK!!! DIEDIEDIDEIDEIDIEIDIEDIEI DIIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIIDIEID IIEDIE!!!
.<;;; :evil:>
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| Internet relationships. |
| 08.25.05 (9:48 pm) [edit] |
I have three little words that will explain the current problem I’m having.
PMS.
It's a bitch. I've given it a little name too. PMS = Pissy Mood Swings.
Ha, fun.
Maybe this isn't a three worded post but what the hell. My fingers are stiff because there cold. I'm getting random cramps. (I think the aspirin is wearing off.) I'm bored and also waiting for someone to get on msn. They might not for a long while now. And that’s my luck that I crave to speak with them. Pfft, what am I saying? I crave to be with them most of the time but I know only too well that I’m only wrapping myself up in a blanket of stupidity.
For one, it's too dangerous. And I know one thing for sure. No matter how much my feelings want it to happen, I will not, put myself into a situation where I can get hurt. Yes, internet romances are highly dangerous but I could not help myself this time. And I don't suspect him being a 45 year old pervert. I trust him. I trust all the things he has said is true and that he isn't making one big lie.
And it sounds so wrong, so stupid but I TUST him. Yes I do. And I also trust him to look after the feelings I have for him.
Perhaps it looks very sappy from your point of view but I’ve thought about it so many times, my head spins.
I know the dangers and I know where I stand in it all. I've seen the affects of girls running off to their bf’s like love sick puppies. And that brings me to another thing. Maybe I have some proof that he isn't lying because if he was, he would of already tried to lure me to him. He hasn't, and I love him all the more for it.
The nicest thing to know is I’m respected. I know that’s hard to imagine. 'How can you be respected over the net?'. Easy. The person you talk to cares, for one, doesn't overpower you, isn't rude, isn't nasty and also, doesn't pressure you into things. it's almost the same as having the person right by your side except your parted by billions of miles of cable and thousands of miles of land/water. They tell you in their own ways that they enjoy your company and enjoy sharing secrets with you. They also, know how to make you smile and in my case, leave me hanging off the edge of my chair.
There is however, one *very* big difference between liking someone in RL and someone over the net. The difference is that you cannot get to know the person in certain ways one would if you were seeing the person face to face. You cannot do things you normally would with a RL bf. One of them is going to the park, talking face to face, making love and what not. Everything is based in your *imagination*. And yes, I’ve pondered how stupid that sounds too. What’s the point of liking them, if you can’t actually feel anything? Can't enjoy their embrace? I don't how, you can, you just can… if you put your mind to it. I believe it makes things a little more fun. It leaves you with my mysteries and imagination. And we all know imaginations can be a very powerful tool if used properly.
And no you’re not delusional if you like someone over the net. I guess there is nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to be scared. However, I warn you all now. There ARE wackos out there. And please, I beg the young girls out there who are easily pulled in. PLEASE, don’t be foolish. Be weary, don’t let anyone control you. You have to keep in mind, that everyone you talk to on the net, may not be what they claim to be. I also beg of you, please, for Gods sakes, don’t arranged to meet ANYONE. No matter how much he asks you to come and see him, you decline. Unless you have met him previously before, no worries but even then, if you don’t know him well enough, don’t arrange anything. If anyone asks you to come and visits them, whether they live a street down from you, or a country away, DON’T do it. A friends friend of mine, did that. And she caused enough chaos that she was on the 6 o’clock news. Her mother was distressed and her friends were all mortified. They got her back and that girl was bloody well lucky she didn’t get raped or killed.
So, once again, there is nothing wrong with liking someone over the net. Just stay weary and don’t arranged to meet the. ANYWHERE.
And yes… you can tell him he’s a spunky monkey ^^’ that’s just so fun, isn’t it?
Well Im off to....do something... I shall post later.
Ciaos. ^__^
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| I hate when people refuse to see it my way. |
| 08.23.05 (10:58 pm) [edit] |
This is the thing that ticks me off.
When I say "I don't like him." I honestly mean it. Specially when I've flabbered the same sentance for the past three years.
Ever since I've started high school, I've had numerus boys in my class ask me out. All of which, I turned down. My reason for this was firstly, I didn't *like* them *that* way and secondly, I did not feel as if I was ready for such a commitment yet. I was, thank God, respected and not tormented because of it. However, nearly all of my friends, seem to *want* to beleive that, I have feelings for one of the boys still, after this whole time. And after all the times he had asked me out and after all the times I had turned him down as politely as I could, do you think they would change their minds? No, not at all.
Today, I happened to be talking with this 'boy' during our sport class. And, I will admit, I like talking with him and being in his compony, I find it easy going..somewhat. He was showing me some some moves one could perform if you were having a free style punch on... like kung-fu or something like that. T.T; I dunno the terms. I learnt something, so don't annoy me, or I will grapple you to the floor. ^^'And one of my moves I was ment to perform, to pull him down so I could 'pretend' to knee him in the ribs, screwed up and I ended up hugging him more than pulling him down. Apparently the girls saw that. Ok..so i lingered but I was trying to work out how I got into that position in the first place. So, I kinda hung off him, dazed. I knew what I had done, was enough of a spark to make people think. Many people don't see my hugging others. So I must be labbled somehting like: "If she hugs a boy..she likes him....because she never hugs people randomly... she flirts..."
Yeah well maybe I do.. it's second nature. X3 But I do it sometimes adn I don't mean it. Really, I don't. I'm just me. Me is flirty.... well. Theres something you may/may not have known.
We continued to converse on the sertain type of suff you can do to another person, him showing me how to do them.
What I don't understand is, WHY do people assume I like him? Just because I *hugged* him (or what it seemed to them anyways) or just because we were talking and doing something that iterests us both, it means we should go out and start pashing? No, I don't think so.
It's like nobody wants to see it from my side of the fence. If he asked me out again, I would only say no becuase I can't see him as anyhting else but a good male friend. And so, the more I try to find ways of explaining that to the girls, the harder and more complicated it gets.
And it's starting to piss me off. they are judging MY feelings by what THEY see. Thats not how you do it. They know me well enough to nkow if I liked him. Which I don't. Perhaps my actions towards people are miss-ointerprited but I think i've made it pretty clear I don't want to do anyhting of the sort with him. WHat happens if I went up to another one of my male class mates tomorrow and hugged him? Dose that mean I like him? You know, I would go and do that, I would give everyone random hugs but I don't, for fear people will start sticking lables on me which are false. I don't like it when people suddenly bring up "Oh.. but she likes *him*...haha yes you do..haha yes you do, don't denie it.."
That shits me.
Fine, I have been very patient up until now, simply shurrging it off and leaving it alone, Now it's just getting to me. I don't like bieng labbled things I'm not. And I hate people who assume things about me. In fact, I loath is. Nobody knows what I feel unless it's visible on my face or I speak of it. My actions have NOTHING to do with it half the time.
The biggest keys in this post are:
Don't assume what I'm thinking and don't assume what I'm feeling. You willg get badly burnt for it if you and try to make it work.
Call it a Capricorn thing (my mums a Capricorn). But that agrovates me.
So...anyways, I'm off.
Enough of boys.. .;; headaaacche!
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| Behind the sences of tBlog |
| 08.23.05 (1:03 am) [edit] |
Well, guess who got her tBlog back?
meee! Ha! Ha! Sorry for my long assed absents but thats what happens when tblog decides to be a prick-bastard and not let you sign in, no matter how many new p/ws you send yourself.
I havn't much to say at this moment in time. Only that I'm only too happy to have my blog back, but also still irked at tBlog for screwing me around in the first place. Not even a post from Rocky. Some care taker he is.
....My little moving imagies aren't moving anymore. o.o;;
blegh, I noticed they stopped on my photobucket account too. Wonder if their corrupt?
Knowing my luck, they probably are. -_-'
Anyhew, i'ma.. ooh I know what I can do! Post my loverly story here! XD
The girls dormitories were quiet. The large room was decorated by dark stained oak from floor to bed, trimmings of hand craved perfection. Fairies and unicorns were carved into the foot of each bed, accompanied by roses. The room has several large and royal looking paintings draped on the cream coloured walls that looked so warm an inviting. Around the room were large and church shaped windows with elegant stained glass. Deep red curtains with golden trimmings adorned these massive glass statues, and they where spotless. Each fold seemed to have been perfectly made and pinned there by invisible pins and always seemed to be dusted regularly. About the place were desks and tables, where golden vases stood filled with red and white roses. And they too, seemed spotless, like they were bred to perfection. Not one petal held a bug nor a blemish.
Samantha held her hand out and grasped the golden door knob of the dark stained oak door and pushed it open. She moved through and quietly nudged the door shut with her foot, since her arms were full of books. Her white coloured quill sat on all of this, with a bottle of ink that slid dangerously as she walked around the tables and chairs that seemed to have been left in random spots around the walk ways. Samantha found it pointless that the school supplied study areas in the dormitories. After all, most of the girls would come in here to either bicker or giggle or snore. Mary Handson, slept on the other side of the dorm, however, when in the dead of the night, if she picked up enough juice, she could snore until the ceiling caved in. Samantha had, on many occasions, woken up with bluish purple bags under her eyes.
Sighing, she dropped her five books onto the table on the opposite side, facing the door. Her quill slid off the stack of books and fluttered down to the floor, where, if Samantha hadn’t looked, would have stepped on it with her black winter boots. She started to unbutton her black cloak and shrugged it off onto a chair, before removing her school cloak and throwing that too, over the chair. She then sagged into a chair, next to the one occupied with clothes and pulled her books over. She sighed heavily. How was she meant to get this biography done by the end of the week? She didn’t even know the guy.
Pulling over some paper and patting herself down for her pen she had pocketed, she bent her head down and started on her draft, following the guidelines her teacher had set out for her. Perhaps that’d be her excuse for not attending dinner. Just as she went to put her pen to paper, someone knocked at the door. Samantha lifted her head and her eyebrow and stared at the door curiously. All went quiet. She frowned before putting her head down and writing in some very over elaborated loopy hand writing; The biography of Sir-
The knock came again, this time a little louder than the first. Samantha’s eyes locked onto the door, her body was hunched over her work, possibly to hide it. She parted her lips and breathed before calling in a firm voice.
”Come in..” There was a slightest of slight pauses before she heard the door knob being grasped and turned gently. There was a click as the door opened and black robes slipped out from behind it. Samantha lifted her eyes from the shoes of this being to it’s waist. Hand on… that wasn’t one of her dorm friends, that was a boy.
He cleared his throat, Samantha’s eyes darted up to the face. Now, his face, was not what she expected to find. He had skin, fair and milky, yet somewhat very smooth. His jaw was only slightly ridged, pleasant to one’s eye. His lips were slender yet placed perfectly between his ridged chin and his slender and pointy nose. They seemed a very pink colour indeed. He didn’t have very large cheek bones. They sat quietly upon his placid face. His eyes were of deep brown and his eyes lashes darker than most. However to accompany his darkened eye lashes was almost black hair that sat somewhat messy upon his head. Bits of it fell into his eyes and he had to lift a hand to brush them away.
”I’m sorry to intrude at such an hour but I’m in need of some information,” He paused and lowed her head a little, his eyes becoming level with Samantha’s. Samantha on the other hand, had to keep her jaw from falling from her face and hitting the desk. She blinked before sitting up. “Information.. such as…?” He smiled briefly and closed the door behind him, now the dorm was plunged into silence, something Samantha didn’t want, right at this moment. “Erm, yes. You wouldn’t know by any chance know where a Samantha Lenard might be?”
^^' Hop you liked it, more to come!
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| The fly strikes again. |
| 08.06.05 (7:12 pm) [edit] |
Don'cha hate it, when you go to try some nice pants on and find that size 9 is too big for you and size 7 is to small and if you were to by size 7, you would be getting wedgies and what not. And, don'cha hate it when they don't have *that* size inbetween..? Like a size 8? Now, you see, size 8 would be *puurrrfect* for my Hips, butt, and legs. Hmm, tomorrow my mum and I will go to Northlands and get that size 8 in the army-cargo pants I wanted. I think she will put them on lay-by....because...you can't buy stuff if you don't have the money. -.-
And if it wasnt enough to have to be told to drive to another shopping center to get the same pants in size 8, it was when I got into the car, when we were going home, that I relised, the zip on my pants I was orginially wearing, was undone. ¬ַ¬
So, I have been walking around the shopping center, with my fly undone. Oh bravo.. no wonder one guy lowered his eyes to my lower part of my body. I wonder why he did that, I thought he was looking at my legs. 0.o'
so anyway, after that imbarrasing moment, my mum and I cracked up in the car and I distinctly remeber my cheeks burning somewhat. Huurmf. The worst thing is, if I saw somone else with their fly undone, I wouldn't have the guts to tell em' to 'Pull yer fly up honney..'
*shakes head*.. such much.
☺
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♀
♂
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♣
♥
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♪
♫ if those little figures come up, Ima happy chappy.. ♥♥♥ lol.
†√/-и٤§§/-†
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| No, I havn't been captured by ferral alieans. |
| 08.02.05 (11:26 pm) [edit] |
Ah, my lovelys! How I have missed you, as I imagin, you have missed me even more. Yes, Dear old Vanessa Has managed to clamber back onto the Horse of the internet world.....*odd stear*
I do appoligise -greatly- for leaving you all hear all by yourselves...but do exuse me, I have to tend to my children that I haven't fead in over what seem two weeks.... T.T;
(Kag and Liz, Ha!)
Let me tell you right here and right now. *shakes a slender finger* These muggles who sit on the....this..thing here I am using, to make nasty germs and send them to the wiz- erm... to unespecting people, have git somthing comming.
...Just you wait 'till I get WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!
*coughs and stammers somewhat*.....I...erm... yes, indeed. ..hey...there that perverted Maroon 5 song..teehee ^__^
*shoots a unsatisfied look at potato chips*... they don't taste as nice as the others.. blergggrh!
So, in the time frame in which I have been *GONE*, many...things have happened to me and the people around me. ...I have a feeling that wasn't propper english..
And that leads me to another problem...that I for one, will not stand --- holy shite..I just remembered the letter I ahve to type and send to the pricipal tomorrow for the argument...case whitness..thingy against my English teacher.....
Erm, yes well back to what I was syaing. There has been some very nasty things going on between my Eglish teacher and I, (along with the rest of the class).........oh, and Ladies and gentelmen.. that should be, ***ENGLISH teacher. Damn. And girls in my class. Now I wont rant too much about the girls..it's the usual brudeing of anger and bitch fights that have started up like a hurricaine...all because of an incident surrounding me.. ^_^ *innocent*
My English teacher, is possibly the *ONLY* teacher I Loath some much. The site of her agitates me. Now, class time is a compleat dread for me. And this (comming from me), is very serious and very wrong. I loved school. Once before..in those times...*odd look*...I mena..In 8those8 days. ..Ok last year and the year before. School was great and now... I dread getting up and I just keep trying to find reasons to stay away. Yes folks. It's horrendosly nasty down my end of the world. Somone who attended school, rain, hail or shine, deisease or no dieseas, has suddenly become an ACe Greade loather of the place, calls it 'Prison' and is sometimes thinking of braking school rules and possibly even wagging.
I blame my english teacher. She is the most, unorginised, disorientated, moronic asshole, who on top of it, dresses like she has no *taste* and wears perfume that smells like cat puke and ...acid. Although I don't like because of her dressing and parfume, thats really no point to go and hate it. It is the fact, I have WAISTED ***THREE*** school terms... on nothing. I have learnt Zilch this year in english. And that, pisses me off. English is my Favorite subject..along with Music and Photography..and I get some half-witt teacher, who waists MY lessons on trying to get the class to listen, and issuing detentions and warnigns and basically, fucking around with the time I need to learn in. This is what, I cant remember of what we have covered so far this damnable year; We have done 'issuse' on newspapers, about some..cat..beating..animal rights thing. Then read a book which took us The First term AND the second terms to finish, with a dabble of grammer inbetween, which was really so easy, I could have died. Now, it is the Third term, and we were back to doing newspaper issues on 'P' plated drivers and once again, reading yet another book, thats about footy, Aoboriginals and...I dunno..something else..I ahvn't been paying much attention. I have learnt near to NOTHING. And so...what am I supose to do for next year? Im mortally screwed! I don't know whats going to happen to my next year in year 10 because I havn't been set up Properlly in english, so it's going to be even harder! All because this...idiot of a teacher is...just...stupid. Make you wonder whats happening in the Australian Department of Education... hmm?
I'm furious with her, and have certainly showed this in class time. I have repeatedly hit very soft spots with comments, I really don't feel like repeating. For one I don't remeber them much, becuase it was one of those 'on the moment' things. I d0on't remeber them. Ever. Also..There has been a recent flear up between the teacher and I. I believe she dose not like it when a 15 year-old can voice their oppinions on such matters, that do include alittle adultary thinking and, to voice them like a young adult, and not a stupid, overrated teenager, who can't keep their hormones at a safe level. And inicendt happened when I heard my groups of firend needed to go to the Year nine Coorodinators office in out locker bay to ahve a chat about our english teacher. We trying to get her fired. .. ^__^.. And I came along, also, to be in their defence with this girly-girl problem, bitchyness. I was puleld into the coordinators office and, (she's a really nice woman, one of my coordinators) And was explaining to me, what I needed to do if I was to tke this further. All in all, I need to write a letter, with information on what I (apparently..if I'm not mistaken)think about the whole situation, and that I'm not happy with her standars, etc, etc. However, my mum adivised me to firstly go up to her and ask her for what Iw ant. I wan't more constractive work duyring class time. At that moment, my engluish teacher came into the office, and there, I got my chance to tell her infront of my coordinator, and a boy from my class. And I did indeed. I told her, I wanted to do more work, like poetry, and writing, and..tha..I wanted to..have more 'constractive' work done and so on and so forth. At this, the english teacher retorted at me and said to not start her with that, and tell her working is un-satifactory. Pardon? I simply blinked and looked at her. And, while (somehow)keeping calm, I pointed out to her that I had not said she was working un-satisfactory, and only simply, that I wanted, and I stress, I, I , I want more work. She simply hung her head and looked elsewere.
it's worse, when somone my age, makes a fool out of a teacher, who should know better. Perhaps I did, in a round about way, say she was a compleat git. But because I had not said it straight out, she cannot pin it on me and simply say 'she assumes I ment that'. *low growl*..and another thing there is, I see, that she sees, I am just another student, like the rest who do not wish to work. And that pisses me off. Never, EVER think I'm like one of my class mates and nevern EVER assumes I'm not *smart enough* for work and that I don't care. If I didn't care, I would have never said the things I had, and I would have never hurt her like that. Oh believe me, I hurt her and thats why she hates me. But hopefully, if I can do it by tonight, a letter contained the events of that day, I shall send it over to the princibal and this will be sorted out.
*Looks at you, the reader*...did you never expect that form me? Of corse you didn't...but honestly, It scared the living shit out of me when I finally realized it was going to get harder for me because of this slip up this ...woman has made. All my classmates are going to have trouble next year, I bet on it. ...it was however, a God sent, that two, and what seems, very educated people shall be comming to my school and setting up a writing and poetry workshop. I, knowing me, signed up for both, and maraculasly, (sp?) managed to get the periods I had sport in. Lol, What luck I have I hate sport..it's boring most of the time. The boys get too ruff... '
So..how are you my pretties? Tired from all my typing? I'm sure you are indeed...ah, never mind you may leave, with a flick of your wrist, settles your empty head on your fluffy pillows...and I shall rumage aorund in your pockets for money that I can scab off you... teehee ^.^
I have made some art also..not much..but hey... I think I lost some becuase I had to get my computer re-loaded. *snorts*..I miss you guys.... I'll post some other time..or posibly in my xanga, the rest of whats been happening...
Love you all...
so much..
-Vanessa- 8)
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| *snooooork!* |
| 07.22.05 (6:39 pm) [edit] |
Now, -everybody- gets one of these... ^_^
haha, Fill it out and see what you get.. *snorks!*
Ah, I just finished watching Practical Magic. I have to say, that is one of my favorite movies. Only because it has stuff to do with the Craft..and the magic and..all that..power in it. But, some people come to think Witch Craft is evil... but it isn't. For me..'magic' can turn two ways.... One were you hurt people, cause corruption... do unspeackble things to others for your own benifit. When you will do anythng for something..even kill. I understand if you think I have lost all my marble plus the two I never had... but.. I have my reasons why I beleive in it. ..now, The other way you can turn with magic is the good way. Yes... the 'good' way. Where you cast spells on flowers...and make them squeel..., were you don't use your craft to hurt others...you use it to fight what is bad... ..it's hard to explain really..you just 'know' what good magic is and how it works... DOn't ask me how I can't explain it..but I supose you will come across it sometime and understand.....if you keep your eyes open.
The two work together. Bad and good. Dark and light. Just like black and white. Up and down. left and right. ^__^ If, lets say, you don't have Good magic...dark magic takes over..thusly tipping the scale and leading to much...darkness..? And if ark was to go...there would be too much good in there world... and, as it seems strange enough.. too much good..will colide and cause problems. Can you imagin the whole world being 'good'? It's.....nuts. Thats is why we have 'Good' and 'bad' magic. I cannot explain that any other way..so if I have lost you... then.. you might as well leave..lol.
A question I have been asked a few times is 'Do I beleive?'. Indeed I do believe. I believe once, women wore black hats with pointy ends, who were stripy socks and who held wands. I believe that once, they used to dress in black and fly there broom sticks at 12:00 at night. Infact..my crazy crazy mother..told me not to go out during the twelth hour because that was, of corse, 'the witches hour'.
Hmm, I believe in warlocks too... and spells..yarsh..casting spells..and books..and knowledge passed down from witch to witch. I belevive in the whole consept of magic. And you can bust my chops if yer think otherwise. ^__^
Eh...thats why I probably like fantasy.... and Harry Potter.. *snorts*.. I like all things... to do with fantasy..and... that who shabam.
Well, since you have finally got the proof down that I am a nutter... you can call the shrinks... ^________________^ Catch me if ya can!!!!!
I don't know why....but....somehting in my brain has sarted to tick over (no it isn't a bomb)..oh....no..I feel a story comming on... somewhat... . <.>
....hmm..I really need to visit that shop with the pretty, pretty rocks and spell books.. X.x'... yes! I am a freak! I like playing with stuff like that XP... I would colect rocks any day..if they weren't so damn expensive.. =_=;
I need an emeraled...the birth stone of Gemini's........... .
*Bored, bored, Spaz, spaz*snoor*..God....yeha..I beleive in him too.. *snorks and falls over.. .... well..snorking.. XD*
:roll:
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| If I could just remeber! XD |
| 07.21.05 (1:09 am) [edit] |
*pops into her tBlog with a burst of random and glittery confetti*
Hey everyone! "Tis me! The fugging-syco-ranting-self oppinionated-freaky-stupi dly-amusing-wild-and shy-and snobbish at times- girl you all have prossibly not come to love!!!!!
...on that note.. *crys*... you people don't even know Im alive. Anwho, speaking to the thin and cold air of my blog..I went to parent and tetcher interviews today.. X.x'
Actually, I can't complain, i'm really impressed with my report this samester.. really, it's really good. A's, B's..*cough*..a few c's here and there..er..even math has a random from UG to A. Sceince has slipped somewhat..damn..I know about that so I shall pick up on it. I even got a A and B for Physical Education! XD
jgfhisughkaudghbwu!!!!!!! !!!!!! XD!!!!!!!!
So, proving to myself, I'm not as incompitant as I may spell.... (does that make sence?)
I'll just randomly talk about the fact i think my computer has been infected withsomething. I fugging HATE Trend Micro..Stupid assholes. I update my fugging program everyday..and yet soemthng manages to slip through my EMAIL! IDIOTS! ASSHOLES! DIEDIEDIEDIEDEIDIIE <;;;;>
Grr..im listening to this song that -really- is irking me off... irck... ?.. XD
Boredom..it is very alive. I think ...i'll be getting a maths tutor.....*dies..*
I don't know why....I can't do my math really..i've been struggling for ages..and only this year made some progress. But what I think my mum doesn't see is..this isn't going to be enough to get me anywhere. Is wish she would stop saying Im a late bloomer. I'm obviously not for the 'math' and I really don't think she should waist money opn a tutor..... I can do everything else..but math..I just fall off the end of the world.
Like now for instance..I half understand the math and I half am so confused..it's hopeless... Are most people like this?.......
*stares blankly at radio*.... clap your hands if your horny? ... o.0'
.."If ya horny and you know it claps your hands,
if ya horny and you know it clap your hands,
if ya horny and you nkow it and you really wanna show it,
..well get up on my lap and do a dance.."... fucking sicko music... -_-'
*suddenly squeels and turns her radio up* *^___^*!!! Mr.Lonely ish palying ...
"lonely,
I'm so lonely,
I have nobody,
all on my own,
I'm so lonely,
I'm still lonly,
I have nobody,
all on my own,
I'm so lonely.." ..or something like that...
:D
*runs aorund*..whee love me love me love me love me love me!!!!!! 8)
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| I ahve a total of two fave subjects in school. |
| 07.20.05 (2:22 am) [edit] |
^_________^! I love my photography class!!! I love it, I love it, I LOVE it!! This week was really fun because i gots to make a photogram. However, forgetting to bring an object from home, I had to improvise. Har-har! If it hadden been for my sharp eyes in the dark room, I may have never noticed the small peice of fabric pinned to the wall infront of me. It 'twas red and kinda corse but it made a fugging awsome photogram. The teacher said it was out of his..five years or monthst he had been at the school.. it was one of his faveorite. ^__^ I feeeeeeeeeeeel special. Next week were gonna use the cameras!! I can;t wait! I'm so exited, I could cry! XP
*does a jig* ..ooh fun fun fun fun happy, happy, joy, joy.. XD Ahh, it's actually a black and white corse of photography but it's still worth while. I'm happy with it...very muchly. The teacher said part of the elective, we get to go out on a day to take photograps with the cams.Oh Mi GOD! Thats like...the best thing in the world! And he's leaving it up to US to decide were we wanna go. I'm gonna tell him next week we should consider the City. it has many things you could take pics of, also the parks we have around and maybe somone in Fedareation square. Wheee!
*does another jig* I was really rude to the lady at the uniform shop yesterday.. T.T' I didn't mena it..it just came out...wrong. I was trying on some evil and ugly school pants. And the ones that fit the length of my legs, were exactly the same fugging length as the ones i have already. I didn't want it -that- short. it shits me when I sit down and you xcan see my socks. <'So I got a size 14..and the bloody croch was handing somewhere near my knees...but it fit me around the waist better than the other pair..but were -too- long. I wasn't in a really good mood that day and I kinda gave up. I looked at my mum and she said there was no point buying them if there the same length ...and having the same problem again. I then agreed somehwat and handed the pants over to her with a 'here,' My mum looked at me like, -i don't need them- and I turned to the young lady and handed them over to her and said 'here..' in an agrovated tone. O.o' I felt really bad and closed my eyes before quickly adding "Thank you very much for your help..". I felt like dieing. ...eh...evol. Anywho.. I'll try not to go to the shop for the next for months or so..not untill she leaves... T.T''' :oops:>
'Till next time.... *dies in compleate imba---* oh shit..I totally forgot to mention that I went to my dancing hall tonight to check out the ballroom classses that happen there every Wednesday. Hahah! Omg .. o.O' I'm going to be doing it next week.. I'm going to be..dancing..with..a..pack..of...old men.. <''''' Yes, my mum and I were informed oit was for the 'elder' generation. I was the only 15 year old there.. X.x' So..next week my mum and I will be.um...hopefully...dancing.. X.x' I just can't get over the fact I'm going to be dancing with a -man-..thats just...so wrong. Now that I think of it..i don't want any older mens hands on me.. T.T''' then again I guess it's better than a guy my age going for a grab....and then me stepping on his toes, or yeling at him..or...something like that. Eh, well, as my mum explained to me..it's very..close and sexual anfd sensual..and... 'couple' like... =_=' I think it would be better if my mum sent me to a studio... but I'll give this a try..learn from the elders first..maybe I'll be able to control -him- when I get to dance ^__^ >
*skips off...thinking how insane she is...ah, but it's for the love of music!!...and..perhaps cute guys in the future.. X__X* :roll:
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| Damn....it. |
| 07.18.05 (3:40 am) [edit] |
*bangs head on tBlog*
Argh! feelings are attacking me again!!! *bangs fists on comp desk*
Feelings I have no control over! I can't take this any more! I feel like exploding! I want to cry and laugh at the same time.
It's torture! Complete, utter, tortue. And you know what gnaws on me the most? I cannot act upon them the way I want to... ..
Why me? Why can't I just.....I...just...hold.............him.
*sighs* Nvm, you don't understand whats going on here.... . I don't expect you to either.
So back to my *fantastic* day at school.....
*blank*..Ok that was a lie. It's not fantastic. I hate school. I want it to burn in hell. I also want my current Englihs teacher to go with it. The whore. ..Just you wait untill my mother fixes her up..... far, there shall be nothing left but a smear of idioticy on the wall. *growl* ..since when do I write my own talk on her beleifs!? Get off, seriously. "I don't think thats true, drivers are responsible for there own actions and the drivings school shouldn't need to teach blah-blah-blah-"
Well lady, I think they need to teach out Drivers better! And if you disagree with that, don't try to change my work! I am old enough to have my own fucking veiws on the life that twirls around us!
it's almost like she can't comprehend the fact that a 15 year old can have oppinions on 'adult' thngs without making it look like she's whinging.
eh.... whatever..I'm off to speculate the math I never bothered to finish ebcuase i have given up. I give up on everything... ..ok to things..
School and.....love.
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| Boy |
| 07.16.05 (5:38 am) [edit] |
Boy, come n' dance with me,
Dance untill your legs want to scream,
Untill you can't breath,
Untill you can't see,
Untill your too dizzy,
Boy come n' dance with me.
Boy, come n' run with me,
Run untill your legs wont work,
Untill your lungs burn,
Untill you ach with pain,
Boy, come n' run with me.
Boy, come n' talk to me,
Talk untill there is nothing left to talk about,
Untill we have covered every subject,
Untill your tounge hurts,
Untill your brain becomes confused,
Boy, come n' talk with me.
Boy, come n' sleep with me- I dare you to,
Sleep with me and hold me tight untill light,
Untill you cannot hold your feeligns back any longer,
Untill you need to show me who you are,
Untill ever part of us scream for one another,
Boy, come n' sleep with me.
*sheepish grin* I'm very in the mood for making poems on my Tblog. Funny It never hapens when I log onto my Xanga account. Haha.
Ah, another one!
He danced with me,
I felt so alive,
I had to pay a small fee,
I had to blush infront of all.
He caressed my cheek,
I held him closer,
His voice was sleek,
I couldn't contain myself.
He kissed my neck,
And I moaned,
he bit my neck,
And I shivered,
He tickled it,
and I laughed.
We danced the lovers dance all night,
And I told him my plight,
He simply smiled and told me I was safe,
I could help mut trust his pretty face,
And so we dances, the loveres dance all night.
XP
Im not perverted..I just happen to be very happy ^_^ :wink:
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| It's just a moment were my imaginations takes over. |
| 07.15.05 (9:00 pm) [edit] |
I sit on my bed,
Music blearing,
I bounce and grin,
I move my gentle lips and sing with it,
I laugh becuase I can't hit the note,
I frown when I can't go deep enough,
I shake my head and lay down as I run out of breath,
I smile as I remember that it isn't my skill.
I sit at my computer,
And I type as fast as I can,
I try to keep up with the convosations,
I try to make myself known,
I grin when people make me laugh,
I talk to myself as I type out my setance,
I laugh because I find funny things there,
I frown when I haven't a comment left for me,
I shake my head as I can't find anyone,
I smile as I don't need to bother people to be my friend.
I sit at school,
I twidle with my hair,
I try to keep awake,
I try to understand whats being explained,
I grin when the fool makes his comment,
I frown when I'm confused,
I shake my head as I am discriminated for who I am,
But I smile as I don't care...
...I don't really,
I am who I will be,
I am happy with who I am.
I May not have thousands of friends falling into my hands, but I always seem to find the right ones eventually.
I will never force anyone to like me,
And I wont be forced to like anyone else.
I have my views on others,
So repsect them as I try to respect yours,
You cannot change me,
Yes, sometimes I am confused,
Sometimes I just want to give up and be like them,
There seems to be less trouble that way,
But I'm reminded,
That by changing how I act and what I think,
....I'm changing me...
This poem thing is starting to scare me..you people nkow me..I don't do sponta--wait.. haha I should take heed of my tblog's tag. XP
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| It was with a heavy heart. |
| 07.15.05 (5:59 am) [edit] |
It was with a heavy heart I looked down at her,
My hands dripped with the drimson desier I had wished for so long,
The blade I held, had been alive only moments before,
It cut the very existance of the air.
It was with a heavy heart I dropped to my knees,
I sighed with relief and I dropped the sharp toy,
I looked into her cold and glazed eyes,
For the first time I laughed and nudged her,
The joke was on me.
it was with a heavy heart that I took a plastic bag,
And put it over her head,
Taping it around her neck,
and prentending like she had a new fashion to show the whole world.
It was with a heavy heart that I came to,
And I realized what I had done,
I screamed and backed away,
Her clode and emtionless eyes peering at me.
It was with a heavy heart I watched her coffin being lowered into the cold and moist soil,
The eternal darkness that we all seem to seek,
Where the worms and bugs creep,
Where I will find her time and time again,
Where I know she turns hatefully.
:( ..random...
sad but random...
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